Don't Tell a Soul, Vol. 17: Here's the plan of attack

I'm still not in that "good place" -- where I'd be able to construct a few sentences that actually make sense -- so here's a few random thoughts I wanted to touch on with this intro:

A) Beatlemania 2.0 has hit yours truly. Something about finally giving in to George Martin and buying "Love" and giddily singing "I Want to Hold Your Hand" at the top of my lungs to my wife in some sort of audition for "Copilot Idol."

B) A few hours ago I was in a Catholic church. If that's not weird enough, I was watching a presentation on online predators put together by Superior's elite squad (of two). Within a few minutes of a live chat (one of the officers was posing as a 13-year-old girl in a Yahoo! chat room), at least six dirty old men had initiated conversations, asking if ... you know what? I'm gonna just have to save all this nasty stuff for my story next week. (Sorry!)


C) Sarah Silverman is freakin' hilarious. I caught her show at Mandalay Bay on Saturday Night in Vegas, and I just received her DVD, "Jesus is Magic," in the mail on my sick day -- I love her.


D) But not as much as I "heart" (that's right) the Depot, where this edition's "cover art" was shot. (By the by, if you think this cover art is bad, you should see some of the rejects I went through.... Not my week for creativity.)

1. Sondre Lerche - "The Tape"
Everybody's favorite Norwegian is back, and this time he's kind of (sort of) rocking. (Previous to this album, it was more or less "subtle" rocking.)

2. High Speed Scene - "Hottie"
Like I always say about this band: If you miss Weezer's "blue album," this won't be leaving your player anytime soon.

3. The Mountain Goats - "Cotton"
This song takes a few spins to sink in ... "Weeds" definitely helps. (As you might notice, I raided that show's soundtrack for a few of these selections.)

4. Josh Joplin Group - "Must Be You"
As BFF can attest, my alter ego is "Intro Man," and this is one of the best I've heard. (It then goes on to quasi-R.E.M. "Reveal" splendor.)

5. Glen Phillips - "Thankful"
Another "to die for" intro -- this guy is great.

Actually, who the hell is this guy? He really is great, but I have absolutely no idea where I got this song.

A long-lost brother to the Wilson Phillips clan?

No?

6. Aqueduct - "As You Wish"
I know I just said this a few minutes ago, but "Or Give Me Death" will most likely be the album of the year. (No, it is not too early to make such gigantic claims -- it is that good.)

This standout track sounds like Billy Joel gone madman ... actually, it's just pure horror show: "First I'll cut your feet off / And then the hands / On both your arms."

But, you know, if you can get past that, you've got the new century's best pop song on your hands.

Seriously sweet stuff.

7. The Beatles - "Glass Onion" ("Love" vers.)
As I see it, "Love" is just a response to "The Grey Album," and this track blatantly apes that album's biggest "hit": it's good, but Danger Mouse could've done so much better.

8. Apples in Stereo - "Energy"
Some of the Beatles' biggest fans right here.

Only this sounds like the Fab Four infused with sunshine and farts.

No, I'm sorry, that's not right: candy ... sunshine and candy.

9. Of Montreal - "Don't Ask Me to Explain"
Another addicting intro -> this mix tape is on fire!

10. The Martinis - "Walls of Silence"
Nothing against the Martinis (Joey's probably my favorite guitarist ... viva the Pixies!), but this kind of sounds like a fake Elastica song in the beginning.

Or faux Sleeper.

Ah, hell, they're all the same.

(Kidding, please ... no disrespect: I appreciate all three groups.)

11. Sufjan Stevens - "All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands"
More "Weeds" magic. Good show, great soundtrack.

12. The Golden Dogs - "Strong"
Another fine Canadian group that I know absolutely nothing about.

G'day, eh! (No, I didn't really think that would make things all better....)

13. World Party - "Martha My Dear" (Beatles cover)
I've heard some pretty awful Beatles cover in my life, but this one really makes me smile. Well worth seeking out.

14. The Jayhawks - "One Man's Problems"
Although I'm glad Golden Smog is now a full-time gig, I still get misty-eyed whenever I'm reminded that there won't be any more Jayhawks albums. (Oh, well, at least the world still has Storyhill.)

"I don't expect you to see / But she's important to me, babe."

15. They Might Be Giants - "Museum of Idiots"
Although what I'm about to say is considered heresy in my household*, it must be said: "The Spine" is TMBG's greatest gift to the world.

In fact, it's quickly working its way up to ... *gasp* MY. TOP. 10.

16. Minus the Bear - "Drilling (P.O.S. Redo)"
Stef is really coming into his own as a producer/remixer. Doomtree must be so proud.

17. The Roots - "In the Music"
One of the few mainstream hip-hop acts that matter: "It's in the music / Turn it up, let it knock / Let it bang on the block / Till the neighbors call the cops."

18. Redman - "Put it Down" (advance)
Funny, when Redman isn't wasting his talent on incorporating lame jokes into his raps, he makes the best music of his career. This is the tightest he's ever sounded.

19. The Long Winters - "Ultimatum"
Does it hurt yet?

Oh, sorry, I'm still kicking myself for not hearing "Putting the Days to Bed" until after my Top 20 Albums of 2006 list came out. A fine album, indeed.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

20. The Bravery - "Swollen Summer"
It's hard to get past "Fearless" on Bravery's debut, but it's been almost two years. Time to move on. Discover other gems, like this one. (Hey, I finally did!)

21. The Moaners - "Terrier"
A female Toadies?

I want to learn how to play guitar now, so as to shred like Melissa Swingle.

22. Noise Addict - "Sixteen"
Not usually my favored vocal style, but it works ... this time.

23. Son Volt - "Drown"
I bet these guys are awesome live.

Or coming out of truck speakers on a warm summer night.

24. Blue-Eyed Son - "Step Away From the Cliff"
This is the sound of floating.

Did you ever get that, like when you first heard the Eels' "Novocaine for the Soul"?

25. Steppenwolf - "Tenderness"
No, this isn't one of their rockers, but it really helped me through my White Castle-induced illness.

And so did "Jesus is Magic."

But I'm repeating myself.

Goodnight.

*Like so many others, my wife has a "thing" for "Flood." I love it dearly, too, but I didn't grow up with it like her.