Random Thoughts: What I learned from RS 1022

From the mouth of Rolling Stone ...

Dolce, Dolce, Dolce ... what are we going to do with you?

But I suppose it's only fair. Every other company under the sun uses naked women to sell things.

Parts of Nine Inch Nails' new album, "Year Zero" -- due April 17 -- were recorded in Malibu. How Hole. Ha ha ha....

"2 Become 1"
XM and Sirius are merging. That's not really news, but, the more I think about it, the more I'm scared. Where is the competition? Satellite radio was supposed to be the bright new medium to save radio, to get away from Clear Channel's evil empire.

According to Queens of the Stone Age's Josh Homme, the new album is going to be "dark, hard and electrical -- like a construction work."

Wait ... what?

In a series of three concerts, Prince, Dave Matthews and -- surprise, surprise -- Christina Aguilera have sold their souls to Citi. Rock hawking credit cards? So sad.

Note to self: Check out Dr. Dog. If they're brave enough to rip off the "Pet Sounds" cover shot in a photo gallery, there's probably something of substance there. Also: Check out Stewie's talk show and PBS's "News War."

Funniest Quote of the Week
"It's living in Oregon and just seeing these worthless, talk-too-much-about-what-people-are-doing-wrong, not-really-doing-anything-themselves f*ckin' hippies. That I despise." Modest Mouse frontman Isaac Brock on Grateful Dead fans

Win a trip to Ireland from Irish Spring.

The FLips are putting together a Broadway version of "Yoshimi" with the guy behind "Tommy."
I wish I could say I'm excited, but the only decent "Tommy" byproduct was the film.

In an odd way, the new (but definitely not improved) hairless Britney kind of resembles an ogre.

RS asked Twist & Shout -- an excellent record store in the last place I called home (Denver) -- what it's 10 top-selling albums were. As expected, I don't own a single one. The closest I would ever consider purchasing is the new Shins album.

But I don't think a band has ever been as overrated as them.

Right?

Right?

ANYWHO, Jewelsleeve.com might just be the Web site that saves my marriage.

Good news for my wife!

Kidding, only kidding ... it's good news for everyone everywhere.

Only click on this link if you're not a conservative Christian or if you have a sense of humor.

Oh, who am I kidding? That's like asking for a soda when you actually want a pop.

HA HA HA

Southern Culture on the Skids' new album, "Countrypolitan Favorites," is all covers. I LOVE records like that. Where do I sign up?

Reviewer Robert Christgau doesn't think Modest Mouse's new album has a "Float On" on it. I have to take issue with that -- did he not hear "Dashboard"?

I think I should have that man's job.

No, you get out of town.

Speaking of adventures, there is an ELO reference in the review for the Apples in Stereo's "New Magnetic Wonder."

Must.

Buy.

Immediately.

(This wasn't in RS, but the remaining ELO catalog has been remastered and re-released. Just in time for my birthday!)

Finally, WeirdAmerica.com looks like a great place to not* visit while you're on the clock.

*My boss claims she reads these posts, so, you know....**
**OK, all clear. She just left the building. Now I can tell you what I really thi***
***Sorry to interrupt this broadcast, but I think I just heard her come back inside. More on this continuing story when****

[FIVE HOURS LATER.]

****Sorry about that. I just got out of a "brief, polite meeting" with my boss about the company's Internet usage policy. Boy, was she pissed!