Because actually reading for yourself is no fun, here are the highlights from Rolling Stone No. 1075, which arrived in my mailbox yesterday (or so):
- While I don't have proof, I'm pretty sure that just looking at the cover (above) makes you a pedophile.
- That said, I'm old.
- The new Jack White group, the Dead Weather, is for real. (Let's pray it's not another Raconteurs....)
- On Page 13, Danny Clinch took what is most definitely the best concert photograph ever. As if getting Phish's three shows back from "retirement" for free didn't already provide for enough good vibrations!
- U2 has completely lost it. Seriously, have you seen "The Claw"? It's their new stage set, and it makes the PopMart tour's giant lemon almost look necessary.
- Oh, so Street Sweeper is Tom Morello and the Coup's Boots Riley. Guess I better listen to those two free tracks I downloaded from www.ninja2009.com. <- Get it? Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction are touring together....
- Reminder: Prince's two new albums (and a third album from one of his "lady friends") will be available at Target (and only Target) on March 29 for the sweet, sweet low price of $11.98. (Also, while I don't remember the exact date, he'll be playing a three-night stand on "Leno" pretty soon.)
- "Study for Field of Dreams," which stars Michael Jackson and a whole bunch of kiddies, is the sickest piece of s--- painting I've ever seen in my life.
- I'm hateful.
- Rumor: There might be a Woodstock '09. Please, God, no!
- The Flaming Lips/Arcade Fire feud is so, so petty. This is why the Internet sucks, perpetuating crap like this. (And, yes, I realize the irony of my words....)
- As cheesy as it might be, the cover of the 9.6 million-selling "Ten" is pretty iconic now, 18 years later....
- To reiterate: I'm old.
- Limp Bizkit is reuniting this summer.
- Again: Please, God, no!
- PJ jump: I'm really excited to hear Brendan O'Brien's remixed version of "Ten." Should sound more '90s than '80s, apparently. -> Which is a very, very good thing.
- On the flipside, I'm scared to hear Chris Cornell's collaboration with Timbaland. I like both artists, but I like them when they're not together.
- I'll probably end up loving it.
- Quote of the day: "'Astral Weeks' was anti-pop and -rock," Van Morrison tells David Fricke. "I don't get the part about it being classic rock. I never got that."
- Worst song of all time? "I Love College" by Asher Roth. Just reading that artard's name fills me with rage.
- Some records I'm excited to hear: Wilco's new one (June-ish), Sonic Youth's "The Eternal" (June 9), the Flaming Lips' new one (July-ish) and OK Go's new one (August-ish).
- The first picture on Page 43 belongs on "To Catch a Predator"....
- Lil Wayne "the greatest rapper alive"? Come no, RS, don't fill me with more Asher Roth-level rage!
- The "Where the Wild Things Are" movie, with a little help from Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers, actually might not suck.
- iPod aside: Attic Lights' "Bring You Down" is still one of my favorite songs. You should look her up.
- A full-page ad for the new U2 record (rated a full five stars by RS, by the way) features a plug for RecordStoreDay.com. Very cool. Though I had to squint to read it....
- Another iPod aside: "Kim's Chords" is a great Sonic Youth song.
- Holy crap, Neko Case's new album debuted at No. 3 on the Billboard charts! (Her last album peaked at No. 54!!)
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